Tonight I’m laying in the bath in my sparkly clean bathroom feeling a mixture of feelings. I’m wondering why on earth it’s taken me this long to ACT (Accept and Commit)
After years of living with a chonic illness I thought I had my life pretty much sorted. I have so many little tricks to preserve my energy to make sure I can live a happy life and have time and energy to keep myself fit and healthy. Even that side of things have been overhauled lately with different training plan with very little cardio and more strength sessions because I wasn’t coping with the fatigue brought on by heavy cardio sessions.
I started prepping food (both lunches and dinners) on a Sunday afternoon years ago. I cook lots of healthy, nutritious foods and freeze in portion pots to save me from needing to cook after work!
Even with these changes I used to find I was stressing every Friday about how much I had to squeeze into my weekends. My weekend would consist of 2 gym sessions, seeing the boyfriend and his children, wanting to visit my parents, sister, daughter, food shopping, cooking, washing, cleaning and everything else in between.. Most of the time I struggled to see family or clean to my fairly high standards. Every Friday without fail I’d start to feel panicky and wished I could take something out of my frantic weekend so I had time to relax, do something nice or just see family.
Maybe I should look at getting a cleaner, I’m on a limited budget and kept coming back to the cost and whether I could afford it. Plus I worried about whether they’d do what I want to my standards and maybe on different weeks I’d want different things done. I was also worried I’d spend more time tidying before they came than them actually cleaning. I know the latter is a silly thought but I have silly thoughts…. Lots of them!
Anyway, once I started giving it some serious thought I realised that 2 hours for private cleaner would probably cost more than I earn at my after school club that I do 4 days a week after my full time job…
So…. I asked work how much I’d lose if I gave up my Monday evening meaning I could leave work at 3.30 instead of 5.30. Financially it was doable and as its a Monday its close enough to the weekend for me to be more rested and less tired. No other day would’ve really worked for me.
So today was the day… I made the plunge and gave up my Monday evening. I treated the 2 hours as if I was at work and refused to sit down, that’s my biggest problem. If I stop its all over!
I am shocked at just how much I managed to do in that 2 hours. My home is clean and tidy, I cooked a beef casserole for the freezer (one less job for Sunday) and I’ve done some washing.
Accepting I had MS was one thing, accepting I no longer am an energetic, always on the go, spotlessly clean and tidy woman was another thing altogether. I want to still do it all, I want to still have unlimited energy, I want to still be able to gym twice daily…
Those days are well and truly over…