Me vs Me

After my last relapse I treated myself to a hoody with the logo Me vs Me on the front designed by my personal trainer. This was very personal to me because my relapse had really affected my fitness and strength ability and I felt like I was  in a personal fight against my body.

Anybody who knows me would say I am extremely competitive and I would have to agree. Obviously  with ms there will be times where being so competitive can have a negative effect. I do silly things like walk 7.5 miles for hospital appointment when not feeling great just to win a Fitbit weekly challenge. It sees me going for a six Mile run after being at work 9.5 hours to get a lead on a daily step challenge even though my vision is bad due to blurring and dizziness. I knew full well it would mean I’d need to get in bed as soon as I got home and not even have the energy to eat/bath! A personal trainer once called full  press ups ‘men’s press ups’ (not on knees) I argued this with him then set out to prove him wrong. I became one of the stronger girls in the bodyweight class doing press ups because I trained and increased daily until I could do 100 press ups every time I went to the gym. I had to stop when I injured my shoulder but this is now on my to do list again!

The Me vs Me hoody is meant to signify the only competition I need to be in is against myself but I find I can’t shake my competitive nature!

It should mean ….

To better myself for me, only me!

I should be focussing on my health, looking after myself when not feeling great and eating properly to fuel my body!

I’ve been finding motivation to eat clean harder recently, to many treats offered to me and saying no seemed impossible. I’m usually very good with nutrition but I let things slip when I started Tecfidera in November because I wanted to ensure the gastric side effects didn’t affect me! To cut a long story short I’ve put on 11bs since then and I’m not happy, it didn’t help that I had an injury that stopped me training in January and lasted until May!

I have no excuse now I’ve stopped Tecfidera , but equally not much motivation.  I’m craving carbs and sweet things so NEED to make a stand.

This is where my competitive nature comes in… I said I was going to completely cut chocolate, biscuits, cake and bread from my diet for 4 weeks. My boyfriend foolishly said he thought I’d  cave and eat chocolate before him. I laughed and said the challenge is on except it’s not just chocolate he needs to give up. I goaded him (and challenged him in front of his children knowing he wouldn’t want to lose face)! Now this is a huge thing for him, he eats far more of this type of food than I ever have and has freshly baked biscuits and cakes offered at work most days. My competiveness means I don’t like losing and would NEVER give in! The loser has to treat the other to a Chinese meal at the end of challenge… I look forward to being taken out and hopefully will have lost a few pounds at the end of it too!
The challenge starts tomorrow and my mantra will be ‘do I want to win more than I want that… (Insert banned food here)…?’



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